I was getting married. I’m not sure what happened to my actual husband but I guess we must have gotten divorced or something, and I was marrying my second husband. I was at the church where i grew up, and it was full of people. C.S. a girl I know, was about 5 years old, and she was making trouble. She was a flower girl or something and she was making a mess and being bad up front. I brought her down to sit with her mom, and i was getting mad. Now I was walking down the isle. I’m not sure if I was holding CS’s hand or B’s. Anyway it was a little girl. I was thinking my dad should walk me down the isle, but didn’t want to make a big fuss so I gave in and let her walk with me.
When I got to the front, my groom was there. I don’t think I knew him very well, and I definitely wasn’t head over heels in love with him. He was nice enough…. but….
It was time to say our vows. The minister (who was my childhood minister), was saying the vows, and my groom said “I will”. Now it was my turn. As the minister spoke, I crossed my fingers, meaning that what I was agreeing to might not be true. I wondered how much of a sin it would be to say “I will” and not mean it. Not mean that I would try my best through thick and thin, or whatever. I was melting down now. What should I do? it was too late to turn back.
As I got ready to say my vows, I kind of stared off into space and my eyes filled with tears. My minister realized and told me that we couldn’t do this and that I wouldn’t be getting married today. I was willed with relief. I looked out to the crowd to see the disappointed faces, but they had all left. They all recognized what was going to happen and didn’t have to stay to see it play out. I was relieved at that too.
I had another little dream that I went into an apartment. It was my boss or something. I walked into the little galley kitchen, and her husband was there. He was older and charismatic and kind. He passed me in the kitchen, and tried to kiss me! What the heck! He was really short, like at least a head shorter to me.
I left the kitchen and went to meet everyone. For some reason, my boss didn’t introduce me to any of the people. There were about 10 or 15 women my age sitting at tables. I went around introducing myself to the women, one by one. It was so awkward and I was so uncomfortable. Agh. I had to look chipper and happy and say “Hi, I’m Karen, nice to meet you”. They would tell me their name and I would move to the next one. I think one said she was Veronica (or something like that), but I could call her “Mrs. Lovely” (I think). I said “Okay sure” and winked at her, like I knew her joke or something. The next person said that SHE was Veronica, and actually Mrs. Lovely. Weird. I wondered to myself if it might have been easier to just address the group instead of every single person. Too late now though, I had already started.