May 9 2017
My Shamanic Journey
A friend is learning to be a shaman. She needs to do 30 volunteer sessions this year, and I volunteered to try a shamanic journey.
We sat outside on her upstairs porch, looking out to the brook running past. On a small table were a jar of feathers, and stones laying spread out. She asked me to look at the stones and choose one. There was a shiny green one that I wanted to pick, but something about this little purple red non-shiny stone made me choose it. It kind of looked like a heart. I picked it up, and she cleansed the stone with smudge from a piece of holy wood from Peru. She also smudged my body and a prayer was said to call in our ancestors, guides and helpers for my intentions.
I was asked to set an intention for this session; Something I would like to work on, or something I had been struggling with, or wanted answers about. I decided to set the intention of “Opening myself to accept and enjoy love, and to let go of guilt”.
We went inside, where I chose to lay down on a soft bed, and cover with a wool blanket. K (the practitioner) sat at the end of the bed with her drum. She asked me to speak my intention and blow the intention into the stone three times.
K now started to slowly drum on the drum she made herself. She asked me to tell her if it was too fast, too slow, too loud, or too quiet, but I found it just right.
Now I relaxed and let my mind relax as well. K guided me to find a place in nature that I wanted to be, a place I had been or created. I chose “my” tree, at my grandparents’ side hill. I could feel the strong tree against my back as I leaned against it. Insects buzzed, and the sunshine shone on my face, the soft breeze lifting my hair off my neck. Butterflies fluttered by and I relaxed.
I looked up and a whitish coloured bunny was staring at me. Twitching his nose. K prompted me to ask his name. When I did he replied “White”. I reached out to touch him, and his fur was very soft. He said not to worry, not to be nervous or afraid but to feel his soft fur and enjoy it. I stood up, and we walked together through the fields, while I looked around. The grass was long but I wasn’t afraid of snakes in the grass.
K asked if I saw an opening anywhere. A hole in the ground? In the clouds? Maybe water? To my left was a large tree, and on the tree was a slit, about 8 feet high. I walked over to the tree, and pulled the slit apart and slipped in.
I started to walk down, and I could smell the earthy scent of the forest. The smell of wet, rich soil, of trees that had composted themselves, and fresh Earth. As I walked further down, I noticed roots on the walls of the entrance. Strong and beautiful roots. They had a mother energy, and spoke to me.
The roots said to keep going, not to worry, I was safe. As I walked, the roots grew, and I could hear the crackling of them spreading through the hallway. I felt comforted and safe, and loved.
I continued walking and the packed ground turned to flat, soft stone. They were warm as if something below them heated them. I could see water in the near distance, and I walked to it. A well about a metre in diameter. I got down on my knees at the edge of the well, and looked in. I saw my reflection. My reflection began to talk to me.
She (I?) was beautiful and fresh and smiling with rosy pink cheeks and sparkling eyes. She told me that I was beautiful and worthy of love. That I am never alone, and that she is always with me. I felt loved and comforted by this. When we were done, I raked ripples over the water with myfingers. I reached down to taste the water, and it tasted like sweet honey. I felt so good as I drank it, and it reached every tip of my body. I took a canteen/satchel thing made from leather and filled it was the water for later.
I got up and continued to walk. A white butterfly fluttered along with me. It was a friend or relative, and I knew I would see it in the real world. We came to a stair way and I started to go up. I could see sky, and almost continued up the stairs, when I realized there was another direction I could go. I walked up those stairs, and they had flowers growing on either side of the stars. Wild roses, that I could smell.
I walked until I got to a room. It was full of flowers. Millions of beautiful flowers of every colour. Wow.It was breathtaking. The smell of the flowers was intense. I walked in and gazed around. The butterfly told me to take as many as I wanted. I was nervous to pick them. The butterfly told me that it won’t hurt them to pick them. That I can enjoy them. Because there is an infinite supply of flowers that will bloom and bloom and bloom. Started to gather bunches of flowers, and I put them in my bag with the blooms popping out.
K asked me if I felt this pertained to the intentions I was working on. I said yes, I think it means that there is enough love. Enough love for everyone. That I can pick the flowers, and enjoy them, and not to worry if that love seems to be finished, there is an infinite amount of love abounding.
I laid down in the flowers and relaxed. I could hear bees buzzing. Buzzing and working. I asked them what I needed to know. They told me to just relax and let them work. Let things happen, and let things work out. Don’t over think how it’s going to happen and how things are going to get done, but let the capable hands do their work. The energy of the bees were like a different type of mother. A capable mother who was skilled and knew what to do. A type of love that isn’t fluffy, but it capable and direct. All of the bees were female. Flowers were popping up and multiplying as they worked.
I was ready to go, so I got up and walked back to the stair case.
I walked up the flat uneven rocks that made the stairs, and felt the soft stones and packed earth of the walls. When I was nearly to the top, I reached my hands up and could feel the soft grass around the edges of the opening, and emerged. There were more white butterflies, hundreds. They were playing and fluttering around happily. I watched them having fun and enjoying life. They were themselves and nothing more and nothing less. They didn’t have to change themselves to be happy.
More butterflies came and surrounded me like a bed, floating me up in the sky, I could see tall ever green trees, and next I could see fruit trees, bursting and overflowing with ripe apples, peaches, and grapes. We got closer and I reached down for a peach. It was so completely juicy and ripe that it dripped down my chin.
I looked up to see a hawk swooping and sweeping, and playing and having fun and smiling. He told me that hawks have fun too. And just because he was brown, didn’t mean he wasn’t beautiful and happy with himself. He flew down and ate a peach, and then flew off and winked at me. K asked me to think about what this meant.
I though the abundance of the fruits showed again that there is enough for everyone. That enough love and nourishment exists in the world and there is such abundance for all. I blew these thoughts into my stone, three times.
Now I relaxed on the bed of butterflies. K asked if I felt any areas needed work or if I felt any blockages. I felt immediately that my throat was blocked. It felt like water should run freely through it, but that it was getting stuck.
I felt something placed on my throat. It was wet but not cold. I felt that it was medicine. It was like a piece of cloth and it was blue or white. Who put it there? I looked to my left and there was a grandmother. Old. She was native, with long white braids, and deep wrinkles, a smile in her eyes. Under the cloth were herbs, as I had known it was medicine. She was talking but I couldn’t understand the words or language. K told me to ask her if she could communicate the message meaning to me. I felt it meant peace. And that what she put on my was to draw out “toxins” and to let them leave and she would get rid of them. (At this point I was physically shaking and vibrating).She was chanting a low noise.
I relaxed, and she burned the cloth and the energies, and the smoke carried them to the black sky. She patted my on the head and called me “Little…something” Like Little Chicken or Little sparrow. To say thank you, I offered her some honey water from my canteen and she drank, and said she’d been waiting for that. She turned and left happily. I told a drink, and the water did indeed flow freely through my throat.
It was night, and there was a campfire still burning. I sat down and watched. The fire told me to let go of any emotions I was ready to leave behind. That it was energy and would not be destroyed but that it would be moved somewhere else. That emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are. If I had need to re visit the emotions I could but that they can be moved if not necessary for myself now. I put my guilt in the smoke and it traveled up. As I was getting ready to leave, I saw a shiny black stone, shiny like a cheeta’s eye, and picked it up. This stone would act as the fire, when I would like to get rid of an emotion I no longer needed, I could put the emotion in the stone and it would be moved. I blew the energy of the stone, into my own little rock, for when it would b needed.
I had mentioned in my journey that I had been worried about my head at some point. I held my stone to my head, and K had me blow forcefully, the heaviness and pain I had been feeling in my head for the last several months, suggesting that a possibility was that I had been holding my guilt in this part of my body.
I was ready to go back. I walked up to the opening of the tree I had entered earlier, and walked back out into the field. My grandfather was there, which immediately brought me to tears. I said I missed him. He said he knew, but not to worry, even when I was not thinking or remembering him, he was there. I started to walk by to my tree. I sat down to gather my emotions, and felt the strong tree against my back. I could hear the drumming, and started to copy the beat onto a tree stump. I remembered everyone in my journey and thanked them all. My journey finished there.
When I woke up/opened my eyes, K used a Peruvian Holy Water (I forget what it was called… aqua something. She whistled into the bottle that held the water, and sprayed it over me, to cleanse. I laid for a few minutes until I was ready to get up.
We went outside and chatted for a few minutes. The heaviness that was in my heart seemed to have lifted and I felt refreshed and rejuvenated.