My Shamanic Journey: Butterflies, Bees and Female Energy

May 9 2017

 

My Shamanic Journey

 

A friend is learning to be a shaman.   She needs to do 30 volunteer sessions this year, and I volunteered to try a shamanic journey.

 

We sat outside on her upstairs porch, looking out to the brook running past. On a small table were a jar of feathers, and stones laying spread out. She asked me to look at the stones and choose one. There was a shiny green one that I wanted to pick, but something about this little purple red non-shiny stone made me choose it. It kind of looked like a heart. I picked it up, and she cleansed the stone with smudge from a piece of holy wood from Peru. She also smudged my body and a prayer was said to call in our ancestors, guides and helpers for my intentions.

 

I was asked to set an intention for this session; Something I would like to work on, or something I had been struggling with, or wanted answers about. I decided to set the intention of “Opening myself to accept and enjoy love, and to let go of guilt”.

 

We went inside, where I chose to lay down on a soft bed, and cover with a wool blanket. K (the practitioner) sat at the end of the bed with her drum. She asked me to speak my intention and blow the intention into the stone three times.

 

K now started to slowly drum on the drum she made herself. She asked me to tell her if it was too fast, too slow, too loud, or too quiet, but I found it just right.

 

Now I relaxed and let my mind relax as well. K guided me to find a place in nature that I wanted to be, a place I had been or created. I chose “my” tree, at my grandparents’ side hill. I could feel the strong tree against my back as I leaned against it. Insects buzzed, and the sunshine shone on my face, the soft breeze lifting my hair off my neck. Butterflies fluttered by and I relaxed.

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I looked up and a whitish coloured bunny was staring at me. Twitching his nose. K prompted me to ask his name. When I did he replied “White”. I reached out to touch him, and his fur was very soft. He said not to worry, not to be nervous or afraid but to feel his soft fur and enjoy it. I stood up, and we walked together through the fields, while I looked around.   The grass was long but I wasn’t afraid of snakes in the grass.

 

K asked if I saw an opening anywhere.   A hole in the ground? In the clouds? Maybe water? To my left was a large tree, and on the tree was a slit, about 8 feet high. I walked over to the tree, and pulled the slit apart and slipped in.

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I started to walk down, and I could smell the earthy scent of the forest.   The smell of wet, rich soil, of trees that had composted themselves, and fresh Earth. As I walked further down, I noticed roots on the walls of the entrance. Strong and beautiful roots. They had a mother energy, and spoke to me.

The roots said to keep going, not to worry, I was safe. As I walked, the roots grew, and I could hear the crackling of them spreading through the hallway. I felt comforted and safe, and loved.

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I continued walking and the packed ground turned to flat, soft stone. They were warm as if something below them heated them. I could see water in the near distance, and I walked to it. A well about a metre in diameter. I got down on my knees at the edge of the well, and looked in. I saw my reflection.   My reflection began to talk to me.

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She (I?) was beautiful and fresh and smiling with rosy pink cheeks and sparkling eyes. She told me that I was beautiful and worthy of love. That I am never alone, and that she is always with me. I felt loved and comforted by this. When we were done, I raked ripples over the water with myfingers. I reached down to taste the water, and it tasted like sweet honey. I felt so good as I drank it, and it reached every tip of my body. I took a canteen/satchel thing made from leather and filled it was the water for later.

 

I got up and continued to walk. A white butterfly fluttered along with me. It was a friend or relative, and I knew I would see it in the real world. We came to a stair way and I started to go up. I could see sky, and almost continued up the stairs, when I realized there was another direction I could go. I walked up those stairs, and they had flowers growing on either side of the stars. Wild roses, that I could smell.

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I walked until I got to a room. It was full of flowers. Millions of beautiful flowers of every colour. Wow.It was breathtaking. The smell of the flowers was intense. I walked in and gazed around. The butterfly told me to take as many as I wanted. I was nervous to pick them. The butterfly told me that it won’t hurt them to pick them. That I can enjoy them. Because there is an infinite supply of flowers that will bloom and bloom and bloom. Started to gather bunches of flowers, and I put them in my bag with the blooms popping out.

K asked me if I felt this pertained to the intentions I was working on. I said yes, I think it means that there is enough love. Enough love for everyone. That I can pick the flowers, and enjoy them, and not to worry if that love seems to be finished, there is an infinite amount of love abounding.

I laid down in the flowers and relaxed. I could hear bees buzzing. Buzzing and working. I asked them what I needed to know. They told me to just relax and let them work. Let things happen, and let things work out. Don’t over think how it’s going to happen and how things are going to get done, but let the capable hands do their work.   The energy of the bees were like a different type of mother. A capable mother who was skilled and knew what to do. A type of love that isn’t fluffy, but it capable and direct. All of the bees were female. Flowers were popping up and multiplying as they worked.

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I was ready to go, so I got up and walked back to the stair case.

I walked up the flat uneven rocks that made the stairs, and felt the soft stones and packed earth of the walls.   When I was nearly to the top, I reached my hands up and could feel the soft grass around the edges of the opening, and emerged. There were more white butterflies, hundreds. They were playing and fluttering around happily. I watched them having fun and enjoying life. They were themselves and nothing more and nothing less. They didn’t have to change themselves to be happy.

More butterflies came and surrounded me like a bed, floating me up in the sky, I could see tall ever green trees, and next I could see fruit trees, bursting and overflowing with ripe apples, peaches, and grapes. We got closer and I reached down for a peach. It was so completely juicy and ripe that it dripped down my chin.

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I looked up to see a hawk swooping and sweeping, and playing and having fun and smiling. He told me that hawks have fun too. And just because he was brown, didn’t mean he wasn’t beautiful and happy with himself. He flew down and ate a peach, and then flew off and winked at me. K asked me to think about what this meant.

 

I though the abundance of the fruits showed again that there is enough for everyone. That enough love and nourishment exists in the world and there is such abundance for all. I blew these thoughts into my stone, three times.

 

Now I relaxed on the bed of butterflies. K asked if I felt any areas needed work or if I felt any blockages. I felt immediately that my throat was blocked. It felt like water should run freely through it, but that it was getting stuck.

 

I felt something placed on my throat.   It was wet but not cold. I felt that it was medicine. It was like a piece of cloth and it was blue or white. Who put it there? I looked to my left and there was a grandmother.   Old. She was native, with long white braids, and deep wrinkles, a smile in her eyes. Under the cloth were herbs, as I had known it was medicine. She was talking but I couldn’t understand the words or language. K told me to ask her if she could communicate the message meaning to me. I felt it meant peace. And that what she put on my was to draw out “toxins” and to let them leave and she would get rid of them. (At this point I was physically shaking and vibrating).She was chanting a low noise.

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I relaxed, and she burned the cloth and the energies, and the smoke carried them to the black sky. She patted my on the head and called me “Little…something” Like Little Chicken or Little sparrow.   To say thank you, I offered her some honey water from my canteen and she drank, and said she’d been waiting for that. She turned and left happily. I told a drink, and the water did indeed flow freely through my throat.

 

It was night, and there was a campfire still burning. I sat down and watched. The fire told me to let go of any emotions I was ready to leave behind. That it was energy and would not be destroyed but that it would be moved somewhere else. That emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are. If I had need to re visit the emotions I could but that they can be moved if not necessary for myself now. I put my guilt in the smoke and it traveled up. As I was getting ready to leave, I saw a shiny black stone, shiny like a cheeta’s eye, and picked it up. This stone would act as the fire, when I would like to get rid of an emotion I no longer needed, I could put the emotion in the stone and it would be moved. I blew the energy of the stone, into my own little rock, for when it would b needed.

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I had mentioned in my journey that I had been worried about my head at some point. I held my stone to my head, and K had me blow forcefully, the heaviness and pain I had been feeling in my head for the last several months, suggesting that a possibility was that I had been holding my guilt in this part of my body.

I was ready to go back. I walked up to the opening of the tree I had entered earlier, and walked back out into the field. My grandfather was there, which immediately brought me to tears.   I said I missed him. He said he knew, but not to worry, even when I was not thinking or remembering him, he was there.   I started to walk by to my tree. I sat down to gather my emotions, and felt the strong tree against my back. I could hear the drumming, and started to copy the beat onto a tree stump. I remembered everyone in my journey and thanked them all. My journey finished there.

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When I woke up/opened my eyes, K used a Peruvian Holy Water (I forget what it was called… aqua something. She whistled into the bottle that held the water, and sprayed it over me, to cleanse.   I laid for a few minutes until I was ready to get up.

 

We went outside and chatted for a few minutes.   The heaviness that was in my heart seemed to have lifted and I felt refreshed and rejuvenated.

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Not Seeing in the Rain

We were at the house where we grew up. My Dad had paid my brother and I for a week of work, with cash in an envelope. I was excited, because it was more than our regular wages.  I went downstairs to where my bedroom was. Outside my door was a plant with white flowers on it, and it was drooping to the left hand side. I thought to myself that we had better take it upstairs so we would remember to water it and keep it alive.

Then we were upstairs, and we were having some type of party. T and C were there wearing raincoats, and they were going out together and talking.  It might have bothered me a bit, but not too bad. Then T was next to me, (there were 2 of her), and asking me about C., and kind of about if I was worried they would be together, and I said no.

It was time to leave but C had been drinking, so I had to drive. We started walking out to the car and I remembered I had left my cash envelope in the car and hoped it would still be there. C got in the driver’s seat and just then a bald scary gangster guy in a tank top had his foot on the bumper and was looking menacing at us. I flew into the backseat and yelled for him to back up fast! We did, and we were fine, and we changed seats so I could drive. I was coming out of a drive way place, to take a left onto the road (Of my high school), and I went but I kind of cut a police officer off and that made me nervous, but my breaks weren’t working very well.  I kept driving, and it started raining really hard, and it was dark. I was sad wishing C could drive because I was scared, but he couldn’t.  I kept forcing my eyes open wider and saying “I can’t see!”. At this point I couldn’t see anything but rain, and I was so scared we would have an accident. I wondered if we should pull over until the rain stopped, but felt like it would never stop. Then I woke up.

Snow Freezing Oil

I was in the back seat of a car, with my Aunt M, the kids, and my cousin C was driving! We were going around turns, and she was going so fast! M said “Oh my gosh! C is driving!” I wondered if she had her license. I said “Slow down!” I was so scared! Then we went over a bump and my phone fell on the floor in front of me.

I looked down, and there was a big jug of oil under the seat in front of me.  Someone had put it on the floor upside down, so there was a hole and oil was leaking out of it onto the floor. Thick, black oil.  I yelled for C to pull over.  I was getting worried that my phone would get in the oil too.

FINALLY she pulled over, and I hopped out. I grabbed my phone first, and then on the side of the road, I grabbed clumps of snow and put them on the oil, since I didn’t know what else to do.  Wow, to my surprise, the snow was actually freezing the oil, and I was able to lift it off in chunks, leaving the floor completely clean! I thought to myself, good thing we had a storm so there was enough snow to use!

I looked up, and there was a funeral procession coming.  Except they were walking.  The first men were carrying the casket, followed by younger men.  They were walking along the side of the road, and I jumped back up against the car so they could pass through between the snowbank and the car. I left my phone on the bank, thinking no one from a funeral would bother it….  But… a teenage boy looked at it and snatched it on the way by.  I ran and grabbed him and snatched my phone back. Yeesh.

I think perhaps I spend way too much time on my phone.

 

Spinning Down The Dimension Hole

We were at the Centreville Middle School. TLL, JM, Jm, Mom, and AG.  We were at the top of a hill, and I was wear wedge shoes. The hill was super steep and I was nervous about slipping down the hill but we made it!  CL was sick with the flu, and him and TLL lived in the school. I wondered where in the school and thought it was weird.
We were now around the end of the school, and mom, Jm, Jm, and AG wandered into an area with wooden fences that people weren’t suppsoed to go, because they wanted to see the horses.
Me and TLL turned around, and I apologized to her that i forgot to introduce her to everyone.
As we walked all of these people were trying to entice us to go to this cult, or group or something. We were trying to run away, but we didn’t know who we could trust and who would just bring us to the cult.  We were waiting for CL to come and save us, but he was sick.  This tall guy who looked like a korean star from Gu Family Book (The tall guy with the deep voice), but he was white, was really trying to get us into the group. I can’t remember his name but let’s call him “Sam”.
Me and TLL fled, and ended up in a car with some family, and headed out of town.  Sam jumped on a bike to try to follow us.  Eventually I guessed I realized “Wait! I am SUPPOSED to go with him!”. So I jumped out of the car while it was moving, and ran across 3 lanes of traffic, to the median where I waited. Finally, Sam go there, he didn’t know I was waiting, and he was completely exhausted and red, and he collapsed with the bike. In a surprising turn of events, I scooped him off the ground, and told him I was going with him. We ended up getting married too. He was my destiny.
Fast forward, and he brought me to this underground place to live. It was twisty almost like a screw all the way down, you just kept going in a circle and more rooms were everywhere.  The funny thing was that everyone had little wheely plasma car things that kids have.
I wheeled everywhere and there were soft shiny pillows, and kids rooms and everything.  I was so fast, I could do jumps with my plasma car.
So, I had started a business or something, and this place helped me SO much to make my business successfull.  I had a very fruitfull and happy career.  We also had one more baby, and we were all so happy.
We were given leave to go visit my parents after the birth of our second child.  Not sure how we got there, but I was on my plasma car, going really fast down a slide, which was in my bedroom, to make me feel more at “home” since I was used to useing a plasmacar every day.
I went to the kitchen, and Mom said “It’s been SO hard to keep this secret for 2 years” (She couldn’t tell people where we were or what we were doing) I said I know but she could never ever tell anyone.
She said my name out loud, but I forget what it was. I do know that my last name was long, and the last syllable was written in symbol instead of letters. It was like a square symbol, and sounded like “stone” or “Slate” or “hammer” or something. Almost like a viking name.
I looked at my husband and he said “You’re so cute with your upside down nose” and I realized that his nostrils were upside down from mine.  We were so happy.
Was he human? Were we on Earth?

Parachuting Campers

It started off we were at a customer’s house, JD.  The weird thing was, their house was EXACTLY like the house I Grew up in, except slightly different furniture.  Everything was in the right place, but slightly altered.  I went to check on their new kitchen and realized it was on the lower level which i thought was really weird. Anyway mostly it looked fine, they were just waiting for a piece of granite. I went back up to the original kitchen and noticed they had the same counter we had had, but yellow instead of green, and I told them that used to be the only choice.

I was feeling really awkward in this house full of people, and I found a baby and picked it up.I carried it all around and it was so cute and could say a couple of words.  I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl.

Later I noticed everyone was in sock feet and suddenly remembered that we were supposed to take off our shoes, but I was still wearing my boots. I was so embarassed and snuck to the entry way to slip my boots off.

I was sitting on the floor and now I was wearing someone else’s heels, that looked like mine. I realized it was the mean popular girl’s sitting behind me so I tried to take them off.The girls were mean and making fun or me or something. I didn’t careTHAT much but it was annoying. One asked me if we had any display kitchens in our showroom for sale, and to tell her when we did. I told her there’s a big wait list. Then I guess I wanted them to like me so I said there was one stained set, now that I thought about it. I had to explain the difference between stained and painted.

Now it was time to leave, so Janet and I somehow got a taxi.  The driver was an older rough looking woman with stringy hair but she was nice.  She pulled into Janet’s blue house driveway, and I realized that janet must have used her before.  We didn’t want to walk the rest of the way so we explained where my house was and she took us there.

She pulled into the club’s driveway next to our house, and we were sorting out the payment for the taxi.  It was going to be 27$. So I said we could give her a 3$ tip, and get $10 back from $40.The whole thing was super confusing.  Suddenly her car almost started to roll over the edge of the driveway towards the lake. I wondered how she would ever even get home!Was she sick? Or drunk.

I looked up in the air and there were dozens of campers and winebegos all on parachutes! It was AMAZING! They were floating down through the sky into the lake, it was a huge celebration with music and campers, and parachuters and unicicles and bicycles parachuting down. It was a famous troup doing it. It was so cool and festive! I tried to get my phone out to take a video but I’m not sure if I did.

Then I was with my friend’s Mom, and I wondered where my friend was.  She was asking about my other friend and mentioning things about her, and her face actually WAS the face of my other friend, T! Anyway, she was really clinging, and said she moved down the road. I liked her but I really didn’t want to have to hang out with her all the time.  And she was saying my name with a baby talk accent.

Cleaning out the Sledge/Falling through time

I had the weirdest dream last night.
I was at some place, and a girl was working on me.  It’s hard to explain, but it was like she wasn’t actually there but she was there.  Like she was doing distance healing or something but I could see her there.  Her hands were on my back and arms, and they were so warm. I wondered how I could feel her hands if she wasn’t really there.
She was scooping this box out, that was my body.  There was green sludge stuff seeping up and she was scooping it up and throwing it out.  I was using my intention to get our as much sludge as I could.  She said that this was gross stuff that was in my body, and that the stuff that was bubbling up could turn into disease. Ahh!  It seemed like more and more was coming out and it was making me nervous.  She started getting slightly alarmed. She said I looked average, but for some reason I had more sludge inside, and it had to get out.
Then suddenly, from the other side of the “box” small fire balls or something were sputtering up.  That scared, me and I ran to the other side of the room, and hid behind the other guy that was there (who looked like Jim Parsons but was another angelic being or something like that).
We realized that there was something scary coming, like a dragon or something.  He ran with me, and we jumped out the window.  I didn’t know if we were in real life or a dream, or another dimension, but I knew we couldn’t stay where we had been.  We were falling through the air,  hands pointed down, moving really fast, and we stayed together.
When we landed, it was as if we had been thrown back or ahead through time, hundreds of years.  I looked around and it was so weird.  I looked completely different.  I had short hair and it was like I was a different person.  I knew though, that we were being pursued.  There was a young scary guy, sitting on a swing, and I knew he was looking for us, Jim (?) had gone to hide, and I was pretty incognito.  I talked to the young guy and knew he was hunting for Jim.  He mentioned there was no way the girl (me!!) would be alive, since I was a human and I would have been dead hundred of years ago.  I knew this was really lucky he didn’t know it was me again).
Meanwhile, Jim was sewing new clothes.  He was making an outfit he could wear that he didn’t need to show his face.  He wore cloaks, and had something almost like a burkah to cover his eyes (Lace part over eyes, solid on rest).  He was almost panicking.  He had a drawer (at this point, I think I was now him, or seeing through his perspective, so I will say “I” instead now).  So there was a desk with drawers, and I put the things I was working with, including some sort of important magic thing, in the drawers. I sort of worried someone could find them, but I didn’t have time.  I left, and ran through some corridors of old buildings.  I came out to a place where people were milling around.  They were all really skinny.  In this place, no one had enough food.  I started walking, when suddenly I knew they had found me.  The guys were after me, and I was running. Trying to put a protective bubble around myself, but it didn’t help.  I kept running.  At some point, I had a wooden arrow, and I threw it into one’s stomach.  There were more of them though.  They caught me, and I was trying to throw the last arrow, but kept missing, and the pointy part was gone anyway.
So they caught me.  They wanted to know where to magic stuff was. I said I had given it to a girl named “S” (Which was ME from when we arrived), the hint was that her name reminds you of breakfast (My name was Scarlett, so not sure why that was a hint?).  I forget what happened next… but I guess I must have woke up. Yeesh.

When I was Chinese

                    I was teaching a class, and I came into the room.  We were talking about the teacher before me.  We were saying it was weird, he came from Alberta and didn’t expect to have chalk boards so he had a hard time writing on it and keeping up. He didn’t know he’d have to transcribe everything on the board. I thought, “What’s he used to to begin with? It’s not that hard to write on a chalk board.. maybe they use some type of smart board”. I looked behind me and there was a white board which I thought was confusing, since it’s really easy to write on a white board. As I hummed and hawed, I thought I would start writing on the board, but then a student piped up “Teacher? I thought you said we were going to make dolls…”
                    Right! I did say we were going to make dolls! Hmm. There were stacked of coloured paper, so I thought we could cut out body parts and glue them together.  Then I had a better idea.  We would make paper dolls that all connected to each other.  There was a stack on 11×17 paper on the desk, and I pulled one off to start making it. Shoot, someone’s homework was on the back. I kept flipping through the stack, thinking it was new paper but someone’s homework was on the back of all the pages. Finally I found a sheet and started folding back and forth like a fan. The students were learning and making it too.
                    One of the kids just had a picture of a doll drawn on, so I showed her how to draw and cut only half a doll.  (Side note, I just tried this method of making a paper doll link, and it turned out really weird. I need to practice I guess) When I unfolded mine the body was super long and weird (in the dream).
                    Next, I was standing on the side of the road with 2 red headed girls, K1 and K2.  K1 was now working in a bakery and I was proud of her for getting a real job.  She was also an actress in movies.  We were talking when suddenly they started trying to bully me. I was like “No WAY”, and I grabbed K2 and held her close to the busy street and threatened them.  Then I left them there and walked across the street, on the cross walk.  I was Chinese, and I wondered if the people in the cars would stop for me, of if they thought “meh. she’s Chinese, not a real human”. I kept my head up and continued walking.
                     I walked into a Chinese restaurant.  There was a Chinese woman who took me over to the side. I kind of got the feeling like maybe I didn’t have parents so I had to work to support myself, and I was young.  She told me that when the dining room to the right emptied, it was my job to clear the tables and wash the dishes.  She told me that I would be answering to the chef in the back who I would call “Sensei”. No matter what he said I should answer “Ye sensei” she repeated it over and over to make sure I got it.  At one point, she said that “Sensei” also meant “shoes”.
                      I was waiting for the lunch to finish, and I was sitting in at a table with four chairs. Diagonally from me was another Chinese girl.  She had big curly hair, and wasn’t that pretty, but was nice, and quiet.  Just then, a group of 4 people came in, 2 young guys and 2 young girls.  They said to the girl across from me “Jessica, can you move so the girls can sit down”.  Shockingly, she happily got up and moved.  I was surprised. Pft.  Then I one guy said to the other “The other one will move too if you tell her to”. They were talking about me. I was SO mad. I shoved my chair back and stood up, and marched over to them.  I grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall. I threatened him to never talk about me like that, and the two guys were like “WTF” and I didn’t care what they thought of me, I wasn’t a pushover.  I knew that I shouldn’t treat customers this way, and that I could get in trouble but I didn’t care.

Re-Decorating

Brace yourselves.  This is a weird long hodge podge of dream sequences coming up.  I’m blaming this on the full moon.

It all started at work (I work at a kitchen design and manufacturing shop for real life).  J and I were in charge or renovating my Dad (my boss)’s office.  We decided to paint the walls Grey, and do the cabinets in a light grey. We contemplated on the counter colour and decided on a dark laminate with an extra thick corian edge. i wondered what to do with his old desk. Should we dump it? No! J said we could probably get $500 out of it if we sold it since it had a nice corian top.

Next, I was at the car shop, where I get my car fixed. I was inside and for some reason I had brought samples over, thinking they should have new cabinets by their reception desk.  I was talking to one of the guys there showing him the colours, and i suddenly realized I knew the perfect handles for them too, that sort of looked like wrenches or something.  I looked up and he was like “uhh ok” and just then I realized no one had asked me to go there, why was I there? I was so embarrassed! I gathered up my door samples, and started to leave. I was wearing my orange PJ bottoms and wedge sandals and I scuffled out seriously embarrassed.

When I got to my car, I noticed in the backseat there were a bunch of car seats and people facing each other (like how they would in a hot tub) I drive a toyota echo.  I opened the door and was like “Hey! Get outta my car!!”  Once I got them out, I tried to drive away.  A woman from Ontario who had planned to take my car or something to take her kids away wasn’t letting me go.  She was trying to old onto my car and I couldn’t shake her off. I was like “Get away from me!”.  We were fighting back and forth, and as I drove, she reached in and grabbed my ipad.  She threw it over some ledge way down into a stream and it was gone. It was so permanent.  She was still holding on as I drove down the road trying to shake her.  Eventually somehow we decided on a truce and she left me alone.

Next I was in some other place, and someone was going to get arrested.  I knew this whole thing was going to happen because I had had a vision of it or something. It was weird cause everyone was wearing the same outfits from my vision so I knew it would happen.  A girl from my elementary school was a police officer chasing the other person. I thought it was a good job for her because she was really athletic and she could run fast.

Next, I was in a room, with my friend’s old boyfriend SD.  He had one arm.  We were laying down and he was going on about me being prejudiced about one armed people when we were young and i was like “What the heck! No I wasn’t! If someone loves a one armed man who cares!”   I fell asleep and when I woke up someone had an arm around me, and said “Sorry” or something. I looked to see who it was and it was my husband. I was SO happy to see him laying there beside me! I hugged him and got up realizing I should get ready for work.  Our daughter B was still beside me sleeping, so I slipped out.  We were living in a rented out, and as I walked to the bathroom, I went by an empty room, that had belonged to someone (maybe the crazy lady from earlier dream?).  I was wearing a shirt that was too small and knew she had given it to me for some reason.

As I was taking a shower and getting ready I thought about things.  We were living in England, but not London.  Outside the window were big old historic buildings, one of which our flat/house was in.  Wait.. I thought… Where do I work? I worked at a school.  But, what did I do there? I wasn’t a teacher I knew.  How do I take my daughter to day care? Where do I take her? How do I even get to work?  My husband had been taking her every day I guess, so I thought he must know what do do.  Was he going to show me today? What the heck was going on.

The End.

Best Hug Ever & Glass in the Foot

          We were in our living room downstairs and I was looking at my daughter’s foot.  The light caught a glint, and I realized there was a tiny piece of glass in her foot.  At the same time, my family doctor and another doctor were in our living room.  I also had a chair that I had taken from his old waiting room, since they recently demolished the office.  Dr. M (my doctor) was trying to get the glass out using a pair of tweezers.  Somehow, it was actually me doing it (I was Dr. M?). I couldn’t quite get the piece of glass, the tweezers weren’t sharp enough.   The other doc huffed in and said I was doing it wrong.  He took a cotton pad and put some kind of liquid on it, rubbed it on the foot and the glass came right out. Hm. Weird.  It was much easier and worked better too.
         Next B and I were in our room, and there was a knock on the door.  I grabbed a sharp knife, and pulled it out of a sheath.  I decided to put it back in the sheath so I could whip it out if I needed it.  I opened the door, and there was a big man standing there, kind of like an arabian genie looking type man with a knife.  I thought of trying to fight him but knew I had no idea how to wield a knife and he was probably trained. I gave in and was cautious. He came in and said we had to clean our room, we had 5 minutes. I was so nervous, and started cleaning as quickly as I could.
         Now, looking around my room, it was really weird.  It was huge actually.  There was a waiting room, with about 5 rows of chairs, all facing a TV, with people sitting in the chairs.  I wondered if I could change the room around of if it had to stay that way because of the TV hook up.  I noticed we had two beds, the regular one and a little single one. I thought we could get rid of the single to make more space.  I saw my dresser, and thought I should push it down to the end of the hall (room had a hall now). I was nervous about that end of the hall, so that’s why I didn’t use that space.  There were two doors in the hall, and the second on was another bed room! I could use that for a walk in closet! But I was scared of that room.  I looked in and to my alarm, there was a stair case going up in the back right corner! What the! I was so nervous now thinking that any one could have come down those stairs from some place (not upstairs of our house), while we were sleeping. Agh!
          I went back to the room, and here’s where it’s foggy. I don’t remember who was there….or exactly what happened.  But someone who loved me so much took me up on a ride up to the sky. I was sitting on his lap, facing him, and we floated up around on some type of seat thing, and it was so fun. As we floated back down we were hugging and it felt so good. So much love and contentment. We held on to each other tightly, and I got off.

Back to School!

For some reason, I was about to start grade 12, high school, but I was starting at a different school.  I was really excited about the new endeavor but slightly nervous.  I knew I was nervous, but I took a deep breath and decided to just jump in and do it.
I was wondering where the bus was and hoping I wouldn’t miss it. I saw it drive past, and go down a road to turn.  For some reason I had a scooter that was my moms, so I parked it fast in front of a shop. I had to hurry before the bus got back.  Hmmm what would I do with the keys? I thought about putting them under the seat but instead ran inside and gave them to the cashier and told her they were for my mom and she’d pick them up.
As I waited, there were other kids. They looked at the wallpaper on my phone and said “Is that your boyfriend?” I said “No, my husband”. They were shocked and were like “HOW old are you!!” I thought “Umm how old should I say? Should I say 20? Could a 20 year old be in high school??”
Eventually we got to the school. My name was different though, it was Becky. I was looking all over for my classroom, you had to find your name on the front of one of the doors. I thought I should be in an “L” section. I looked everywhere.  Everyone was really nice to me, I was pretty and cool and I felt much better than I had thought I would feel at a new school.
FINALLY eventually I found my class.  I was looking for a seat, since I was late, all eyes were on me.  Some of the desks were all jammed up and there wasn’t space to sit down in them, but then I found one to sit in.  We were discussing a book that the class was reading.
Next I was at my Aunt’s house, and my school teacher was there. I was complaining to her that I wanted more out of the class, I wanted to talk about the character in the books and what their motivations and feelings were, but no one else in the class cared. I wondered if it was because they were all young and didn’t care and now that I am older I want more out of life.